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​ Being my self New behaviors feel like showing up for dinner dressed like Micky Mouse. Frustration and disappointment are more comfortable than the discomfort of feeling inauthentic when you try on new leadership behaviors. People say, “Be yourself.” But how can you be yourself while you’re becoming yourself? You feel obvious. Vulnerable. Fake. Example: Suppose you learn that successful leaders celebrate small wins and honor hard work, even if it occasionally falls short. But it feels unnatural to celebrate when you’re worried about what might go wrong tomorrow. Celebration feels uncomfortable. New Shoes: Trying on new behaviors feels like putting on new shoes. You have to wear them awhile before you forget them. Those who refuse to press through the awkwardness of new behaviors end up stuck in old patterns. It feels comfortable, but seasons change. Eventually they wear out. Be yourself while becoming yourself: Chose transparency over ‘fake i...

You don’t have what you want because you haven’t asked for it. Fear of asking for what you want results in not getting what you want. 7 ways to get what you want: #1. Ask for what you want. Maybe you advocate for others, but can’t bring yourself to speak for yourself? Learn how to advocate for yourself by following the pattern you use to advocate for others. (Inspired by Adam Grant’s book “Give and Take”.) Ask small. Ask to run a pilot program that aligns with big goals, for example. Make your ask about others. Ask for opportunities to add value.  Ask for help. Stop waiting for people to magically give you what you want. People enjoy helping. Something’s wrong with your approach if you’re always giving, but not receiving. #2. Eliminate self-sabotage. Talk yourself ‘into’, not ‘out of’. Think of things you can do. Stop repeating good behaviors that yield disappointing results. Don’t think so much. Knock on a door and see what happens. #3. Explore potential opportuni...

​ I wrote this essay not long after November 24th, for a class I took last semester. Memories of my adolescence are littered with the phrase “what would Jesus do?” Despite my family’s relative areligiosity I feel like that phrase was everywhere. On brightly colored bracelets and bookmarks my friends always had, on billboards near my home town, spoken over and over again whenever someone didn’t know what to do or when someone else had done something they disapproved of. I never knew how we were supposed to know what Jesus would do, I’d never read the Bible or really heard it preached. All I ever really heard in that phrase was “whatever you’re doing, stop that. Jesus was perfect and you are not.” Everything I heard about what Jesus would do was in the negative. In my world people talked much more about what Jesus  wouldn’t  do than about what he would do, and when they talked about what he would do it was still mostly judgement. I’ve been thinking about that phrase ...

My brother, Juan Carlos, and I were sitting just outside my aunt’s first floor apartment in the hallway of a five story walk up on the grittier side of upper Manhattan. It was early March of 2013. We were chain smoking and talking about our family, our childhood and his heroin addiction. It was the day I told him about the secrets I was revealing in my memoir; about mom’s rape and how he found out when he was just thirteen that he was result of that rape. We traced his spiral to that day, more than 25 years ago, when he was in eighth grade. “Sometimes I blame myself.” He stared off across the foyer, avoiding my eyes. His face drooped like a bloodhound’s and his bald head shone with sweat. It dripped down his forehead and dotted his nose. Carlos pulled out a rag and wiped his head and face. That was one of things that stuck out about him in his addiction—he was always sweating and eating candy; his pockets rattled with boxes of Nerds. “I wasn’t supposed to be a drug addic...